Thursday, April 7, 2011

Daily Pump Trap: 4/7/11 edition

Good morning! Between April 5 and 6, there were 6 new positions posted on the ACS Careers website. Of these, none were academically connected.

Tap, tap, tap: That's the lowest Tuesday/Wednesday total in a very long time (late December 2010, to be exact.) Just an artifact, I hope.

Looks interesting: Intrexon is looking for an M.S./Ph.D. organic/medicinal chemist to perform scale-up syntheses of compounds ranging from 10 grams to 1 kilogram. 5-10 years experience desired. Looks interesting.

Plastics: GTI Chemical Solutions is looking for a Head Chemist for its polymer division; an M.S/Ph.D. polymer/organic chemist with 2 to 10 years of experience is desired. "Must be experienced in controlled polymerization techniques. Must be experienced in condensation polymerization. Skilled in small molecule and macromolecule synthesis a plus."

Plastics!: DuPont is looking for a summer intern to test and formulate with its Teflon Finishes technology; undergrads and graduates in chemistry and chemical engineering are welcome to apply. This is a great internship for somebody, that's for sure.

A broader look: Monster, CareerBuilder, Indeed and USAjobs.gov have 353, 775, 4,217 and 70 positions available for the search term "chemist."

1 comment:

  1. Hiring Now! Qualifications:

    * Identify and understand business and clinical issues to map these issues into quantitative questions. “What business and clinical issues?”, you might ask.
    * Design scientifically valid studies to answer relevant questions. “Questions about what?” you might ask. You can ask but this is a mystery job opening and we don’t like too many questions about that.
    * Explore relevant data sources to understand what metrics can be produced. (Sigh).
    * Coordinate the integration of claims data to determine clinical and economic trends and impact. “Is this a science job or an interview for “Trump?” you might ask. You might.
    * Work with complex health care databases to produce statistical output and interpret results. Oooh, statistical output. Sounds cool.
    * Report results for studies through presentations, abstracts and publications.
    * Builds Trust - Walks the talk; makes choices that are consistent with Bubonic's ethical principles; is emotionally intelligent; manages self and relationships effectively, through self-awareness, self-management, awareness of others and skill in dealing with others. In other words, we don’t want a creative person with quirks. We’re asking for someone who doesn’t exist, a truly creative person who could sub for Dr. Phil.
    * Implementation / Execution - Effectively leverages available resources (financial, people, time) to accomplish objectives and maximize return on investment. Makes appropriate decisions in the face of ambiguity. Anticipates and resolves barriers and constraints. Organizes and manages multiple priorities and/or projects using appropriate methodologies and tools. Sorry, Albert Einstein, don’t bother to apply. Weren’t you divorced? And weren’t you living in poverty for several years after all those brilliant papers? Not our type. We want poseurs who spout jargon but are really just the average middle-management asshole. This means you!
    * Innovates - Introduces or develops new ideas and processes which improve performance or productivity, or more likely, steals the ideas from underlings or by walking from lab to lab pretending to use the phone but who is really just eavesdropping on everyone’s work hoping to get an idea because touchy-feely types who are “emotionally intelligent” generally don’t have any ideas. And if you are one of the underlings who worked his butt off to advance someone else’s career but didn’t get promoted yourself, don’t complain to anyone because then we’ll just tell everyone you were a prima donna.
    * Problem Solving - Proactively identifies, evaluates, and solves problems with rigorous logic and a systematic approach; looks beyond the obvious to see root cause issues and creative solutions. Blah blah blah.

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